How to be a Crappy Parent (Bad Parenting 101)
Though most of us strive to be the best parents we can be, it is clear (simply by walking down the aisles of any Wal Mart) that not all of us share that sentiment. Unfortunately, there is a whole subculture out there of "crappy parents" who practice bad parenting.
Let's take a look at what it takes to qualify as one of these crappy parents.
1. Provide inadequate supervision. What's that? Your preteen son is hanging out over at the childless and presumably alcoholic adult neighbor's house down the street? No problem so long as he's back before supper.
2. Put alcohol and/or drugs ahead of your child's interests. As long as you have money for your vodka then does it really matter if your child gets new clothes for school? It's important to have your priorities straight and if you intend on being a crappy parent then alcohol (and/or drugs) should always come first.
3. Use your children as pawns to "get even with" your ex. Go ahead, ignore the court's orders and deny visitation with their father…he doesn't deserve their love and they don't deserve his companionship or affection. If you are still with your spouse then fighting with him or her in front of your child will suffice. This beyond bad parenting!
4. Use ridicule and shame to discipline your child. Kids love being belittled so much more than they like being put into "time-out"... and belittling is incredibly effective.
5. Swear as often as possible in the presence of your children. This teaches them the proper usage of such words and helps to avoid future misuse of such words. This will also help in the event that your child one day becomes a professional wrestling fan.
6. Give excessive consequences for minor misbehavior. Nothing establishes your authority better then being able to dish out harsh consequences. Even petty offenses deserve grounding for the remainder of their childhood. That will certainly teach your child!
7. Spend as much time as possible on social media sites. This will help you to forget about all of the problems your child causes you (as well as all of the bad parenting decisions you have made!). Video games are a great substitute if social media is "not your thing."
8. Ignore your child's successes. Why celebrate your child's successes when you yourself never have any? Focus instead on all of the little things that he or she does wrong. So, you see, bad parenting is all around us. Most of us will slip up at times and that can be expected (and in most cases forgiven!). But bad parenting should also be called out when it is seen. Ignoring "bad parenting practices" only perpetuates those practices...and that is not good.